I went to my friend's birthday party last Saturday and, man, there were A LOT of kids. Anyway, so one of the kids (about 10 yr olds) really wanted to have a piece of chocolate and she was debating if she should have it as it was pretty late. And then I said, "Life is too short so just do it". Right after I said it, I realized that it probably wasn't the best way to teach kids.
When I was a kid, my parents always taught me to be patient and tolerant. They taught me to have discipline and not to do things that will make me happy now as I could suffer in the future, for example, if I eat too much in a meal, I could have a bad stomachache. Another example is that I shouldn't use up all your money on the first day I get your paycheck as life would suck if I don't have money (I guess that's why we have credit cards to get around that problem). So, basically, the idea is that life is a long journey and I shouldn't optimize for instant gratification. I should, instead, plan for the future and delay the gratification to the "appropriate" time. That's what I learned as a kid and I have made a lot of decisions optimizing for delayed gratification subconsciously.
Let's fast forward many years to where I am today. It seems like there has been a lot of talks about "Life is short and you should do what you want today" or "Live the moment now and don't think about the past or future too much". I don't know if it's because of the books/articles/blogs I read or if it's a western thing but it seems like I have heard it everywhere and it does get me to think more as it's almost the complete opposite of what I was taught, which I find to be super interesting. Why did I get these two completely different messages? Is it because I have been exposed to all these marketing tricks to get me to spend the money? Is it because the world is getting to be less unpredictable? Is it because of the difference between the Western culture and the Eastern culture? Is it because of adults are more mature so we can tell them the "truth"? I don't know the answer and I am sure I will have to think more or do more to find out.
So what did the kid do after hearing what I said? Well, she said she was scared and she immediately ate the chocolate. Glad that I am not a dad or my kid will probably be super spoiled :).
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWW1vpz1ybo&feature=player_embedded
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer?currentPage=all
I think it depends on what the task/activity is. As adults we get to choose between instant and delayed gratification. While we are constantly bombarded with advertisements etc subconsciously advocating instant gratification, we need to make the choice based on what the task at hand is. In some cases, the 'life is short' line of thought is completely relevant. In others, it's originates from greed deep down. The hard thing as adults is to determine which is which and even harder to teach kids. The line is often blurred. I also think comfort society vs. non-comfort society plays a part. In a place like India for example, basic necessities are harder to get so parents teach more delayed gratification so as to imbibe more of a fighting spirit. In the US e.g., basic necessities are much easier to get even for lower income groups so it's not as necessary to preach too much delayed gratification.
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