Change

I have just started the 4th decade of my life and it finally got me thinking what I really want to do in my life. Through the past three decades, I have been fortunate (or unfortunate depends on how you see it) enough that everything has lined up perfectly for me so that I really didn't have to make any hard decisions or maybe I should say I have been following what most people do and am luckily enough to get it. However, when I looked back, I felt like I didn't do anything that's extremely meaningful to me.

Granted I have a well paying job, have a shelter, and don't have to worry too much about my day-to-day expenses (well, I am pretty cheap :P). If I had a family, I am probably pretty happy about where I am at; however, since I am single and don't have any real responsibility, I start to question whether what I am doing is the best use of my time and "youth". I have some ideas of what I want to do but for some reasons, I am afraid of doing them. Something is holding me back. I am pretty sure it's the "change".

In general, people hate changes. It could be getting married, having a baby, buying a new house, or changing a job. We always try to avoid it as much as possible (yeah, some guys detest the idea of getting married and some couples think that babies would ruin their good lives :). Most people like a stable and predictable life as it's easy and comfortable. However, at the same time, this predictability and comfort would make one become complacent, which is what I hate to see myself getting into. I am not a competitive person but I hate to see myself living the same way throughout my life (yeah, I don't think I can ever give anyone a good life :).

Anyway, so I am trying to conquer my fear of change and decide what I want to do next. Sorry if I sound like I am complaining. I know that if I was back in 1960s, I wouldn't even think about it. I would probably just work, work, and work to make a living to take care of my family. Society has changed or maybe the Western world is just different. Regardless, I have this thing stuck in my head and I gotta figure this one out.

Life is too short

I went to my friend's birthday party last Saturday and, man, there were A LOT of kids. Anyway, so one of the kids (about 10 yr olds) really wanted to have a piece of chocolate and she was debating if she should have it as it was pretty late. And then I said, "Life is too short so just do it". Right after I said it, I realized that it probably wasn't the best way to teach kids.

When I was a kid, my parents always taught me to be patient and tolerant. They taught me to have discipline and not to do things that will make me happy now as I could suffer in the future, for example, if I eat too much in a meal, I could have a bad stomachache. Another example is that I shouldn't use up all your money on the first day I get your paycheck as life would suck if I don't have money (I guess that's why we have credit cards to get around that problem). So, basically, the idea is that life is a long journey and I shouldn't optimize for instant gratification. I should, instead, plan for the future and delay the gratification to the "appropriate" time. That's what I learned as a kid and I have made a lot of decisions optimizing for delayed gratification subconsciously.

Let's fast forward many years to where I am today. It seems like there has been a lot of talks about "Life is short and you should do what you want today" or "Live the moment now and don't think about the past or future too much". I don't know if it's because of the books/articles/blogs I read or if it's a western thing but it seems like I have heard it everywhere and it does get me to think more as it's almost the complete opposite of what I was taught, which I find to be super interesting. Why did I get these two completely different messages? Is it because I have been exposed to all these marketing tricks to get me to spend the money? Is it because the world is getting to be less unpredictable? Is it because of the difference between the Western culture and the Eastern culture? Is it because of adults are more mature so we can tell them the "truth"? I don't know the answer and I am sure I will have to think more or do more to find out.

So what did the kid do after hearing what I said? Well, she said she was scared and she immediately ate the chocolate. Glad that I am not a dad or my kid will probably be super spoiled :).

Zen Habits

My friend introduced me to the Zen Habits blog a while ago. I thought it's a good blog in that it got me to think more about life. If you have free time, take a look at it and it may get you to think more.

Asking questions

For those who have kids, do you find your kids asking a lot of questions? A lot of hard questions? Like why do we have eggs? Where did I come from? For those who asked a lot of questions when you were a kid, do you still ask a lot of questions at work, at home, or during a social events?

When I was a kid, I almost never asked any questions. I was one of those very obedient kid who took whatever people said (yeah, I was very gullible, well, I still am). It wasn't that I wasn't curious but it was more like I was afraid of asking questions. Why was I afraid? I dunno. I was probably worried what others would think of me. For example, "He's such a stupid person." I got through life fine without asking too many questions throughout elementary school, secondary school, and college (thanks to my parents and the crazy Hong Kong education system). Now that I think about, I really didn't know how to ask questions (not that I know now).

In the past few years, I find myself changing though. I think my previous job has something to do with it. Anyway, I find myself asking people more questions. It was like I became the curious kid I was supposed to be. I would "drill" people about a certain topic and try to get to the bottom of it. Come to think of it, I wonder how annoying I am. I don't know but oh well, it has already happened, I couldn't change it :). Actually, maybe I should go read some books on how to ask better questions. That's not a bad idea.

Sorry for cutting this post short, I ended up im'ing at the same time and it's getting very late now. Gotta sleep now. Next time...

Constuctive / Negative feedback

I miss the days when someone would tell you honestly that, "You are not very good at it", "You are doing a crappy job", or "You are completely screwed up". Some of you may think that's just negative feedback and it's not constructive. Maybe it's true; however, these negative (and non-constructive) feedback can sometimes get you think and get yourself to ask questions. The thing about human beings is that we get complacent when we don't have to deal with adversities or challenges. These negative feedback can act as challenges or adversities to get yourself to validate your direction or get yourself motivated.

I had a lunch with someone who told me in my face that whatever I said wasn't very good. I wasn't mad and we ended up having a very good discussion. And you know what, I think that's probably the most motivating conversations I have had in the past year (maybe even the past 2 years). I thought that was a really good kick in my bottom conversation.

Don't underestimate the homeless

Disclaimer: I am not discriminating any type of people but I thought it was an interesting observation and I learned from this observation.

There is this female homeless person (or I should say a beggar since she may have her own home or apartment) asking for money at the intersection right outside my office building. I see her every time I go out for lunch and I ignored every single time as she's too well-dressed to be homeless. So what's so funny about her? Well, so a few weeks, I actually saw her walking from around where I live to her "workplace" (the intersection where she begs for money). How did I see her? Well, I walk halfway to a bus stop and then take a bus to work. It was so happened that she was right in front of me while I was walking to the bus stop. And then I saw her again an hour later at that intersection! lol...

I thought that was already pretty interesting (or funny). Then when I went to a bank today, I actually saw her making a deposit (I could be wrong but it certainly seemed like that)! I was like... that's interesting. I guess "begging" is really her job and that's how she gets her income. Since she's self-employed, she needs to deposit the money to the bank herself.

Anyway, I find it pretty humorous and all my assumptions about beggar / homeless people are wrong! Lesson learned.

An interesting read

An interesting read here. I like this comment:

"... when you are ready to make your leap of faith, the temptations appear; the tremendous opportunities that for some reason only come out of the woodwork when you are ready to walk out the door."

I totally agree that it does happen. It's hard enough to get yourself ready to make that leap of faith and then all of a sudden there is this easier (and probably more comfortable) opportunity tries to tempt you away from what you were ready for. Now, you'll doubt about your faith and redo the whole thinking process. That's horrible. Some people said it's good to have options (even though none of the options is what you really want); however, I think it's worse than having no options. Why? If you don't have any option, you'll be creative in coming up with something you may actually want more. The process may be tougher but you could get to what you want. Anyway, just a random thought on a nice Sunday.

Should have gone hiking today instead of staying at home...

How good are you?

Have you ever experience the following situation: For some reasons, others think that you are super awesome and got a lot of praise from them but then, in your head, you are asking yourself, "Seriously, am I that good? Or did I do a good job in hiding my weakness?" And then now, do you have the pressure of trying not show your dumb side when you talk to those people because you don't want to ruin your good image? Just a random thought to share before I head to bed...

Proper Grammar

My ADHD is in play again... Anyway, I was trying to figure out what I did on my previous trip to Japan (basically trying to re-live that experience and figuring out the name of all the places I visited) and then an incoming email from someone I don't know interrupted me. There were quite a few grammatical mistakes and I immediately had a lesser impression of that person. You know what, it wasn't the first time I had this reaction. Whenever I see a lot of grammatical mistakes in someone's email, I felt lesser about that person (note, it only applies to those whom I don't know, so if you are my friends, don't worry, I don't mind your quick/short email with grammatical mistakes since I already know who you are. Plus, I have quite a few grammatical mistakes when I send you guys quick emails too :P).

Think about it, when you first "meet" someone through email, your writing is basically a reflection of who you are and that's the first impression the recipient has about you. If you have a lot of grammatical mistakes in your first email, you could be seen as someone who's careless or who doesn't pay attention to details. If you are looking for a job, these mistakes will hurt you a great deal. Even if you aren't looking for a job, the recipients may think that you don't respect them as you can't even spend a minute to proofread the mail. So, please remember to proofread your mail when you email someone you don't know or barely know.

Anyway, just a random thought I want to capture. I better proofread my blog post or I'll just be hypocrite :).

Focus

I have a serious time management problem as it seems like I don't have any time anymore for some reasons. I also think that I might have ADHD. It's like I want to do A, so I do A but then I would think about B so I went ahead to do B and then after a while, I would remember I was doing A. It could happen up to 5-6 activities at the same time. It's very annoying. I think it's a focusing problem but at the same time, it's so weird that I remember I was doing some previous activities and I would go back to finish them. I can get all these things done eventually but these "context switching" are hurting my head! In nerdy computer terms, I feel like my head can keep track of these activities in a queue but then the way it prioritizes them is wrong. It assigns random priority at random time.

Enough geeky talk. I also wonder if there are way too many things I want to do so I really should prioritize them. So what do I want to do? Well, other than office work, I have been trying to write this blog, read some photography books, read about business magazines, process my photos, attend networking events, learn Spanish, install the latest Snow Leopard :), and set up my home office. There are a few more that I won't even bother mentioning. Hmm... I really need to cut down on what I want to do. Seriously, I don't know what people do when they have kids. They have to give up on everything and put all the attentions on the kid.

An interesting read

Someone recommended this article by John Gardner. I thought it was an interesting read. I like the following:

"Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account."

Enjoy.

Bag

I am going to bay area for a few days and am trying to figure out how to pack my DSLR camera and my laptop such that I don't need to check in any luggage. It's a challenge. I need one bag that can hold my laptop and my camera plus accessories (I don't even plan to take any extra lenses); I need another bag that can hold my hiking boots, clothes, and other stuff. The second bag is easy; it's the first bag that makes me think. I have a backpack that could use as the first but it's HUGE (I use if I don't have other carry-on). I'll see what I can do. I still have a day to see if I can buy a bag from some local stores. It's gonna be expensive...

I saw this line from a male photograph, "we're worse than women when it comes to bags". It's so true. I already have TWO bags for my camera and I want to buy another one. Actually, I want to buy another TWO (that's a total of four; that's ridiculous) and the fourth one is for when I go hiking. By the way, these bags aren't that much cheaper than your wife's/gf's/mum's coach bags (or whatever brand you want). I guess guys do spend a lot of bags but our reason is more justifiable - we are buying a hundred-dollar bag to protect thousands of dollars of investment. As for girls, I have a hard time to comprehend...

Depth or Breadth

Do you consider yourself as a Jack of all trades (aka master of none) or a specialist? If you are a specialist and if you are best in that field, you can command big bucks but then if that field is going downhill, you could be the same too. If you are a jack of all trades, it may be easier for you to adapt but then it may be harder for you to compete against all the specialists. Is it possible to be a jack of all trades and at the same time the very good in all these areas?

Do you really want it?

Have you ever wanted something really badly but have never been able to get it? How does it feel? Isn't it a great feeling? I mean, most of the time, you really want that something because you have exceptional expectation about it and it serves great when you need something for day-dreaming. For example, you may have always wanted to go out with that girl you met in college, you may have always wanted to work for this awesome manager, or you may have always wanted to move to this exotic country to live for a few years.

Now, think about the times when you have got something you really wanted. How did you feel? Was there any disappointment? I would say, you have mostly like experienced some and the reason is that you had such a high expectation about that something to begin with so any minor glitches will make it a disappointment for you. Isn't it interesting how human brains work? It's all about expectations.

So next time, when you are about to be able to get what you have always wanted, think twice. It may be better to keep that ideal dream than to face reality.

8/12/2009 or 12/8/2009?

I had a discussion with a colleague today about how numerical dates are written in America (US and Canada) versus Europe (or even the rest of the world). In America, the numerical dates are written as Month / Day / Year, so today's date (August 12th, 2009) is written as 8/12/2009. In Europe, the numerical dates are written as Day / Month / Year, so today's date is written as 12/8/2009. As you can see, there could be a lot of confusion between Americans and Europeans when talking about dates. Does 8/12/2009 mean August 12th, 2009 or December 8th, 2009? Bad for communication...

I tried looking up the origins of these two representations but couldn't find any reliable sources. On the unreliable sources front, some people think that these numerical representations were simply shortened forms of dates written in English and the difference is simply the result of differences between American English and British English. In American English, dates are written as Monthname Day, Year, so today's date is written as August 12th, 2009 and the numerical (shorten) representation is 8/12/2009. In British English, dates are written as Day Monthname Year, so today's date is written as 12th August 2009 and the numerical representation is 12/8/2009. This explanation makes totaly sense but I couldn't find a reliable reference...

In my opinion, it's much better to use "2009-8-12" instead of the above-mentioned representations. Why? It helps your brain narrow down on the dates more logically as you read through it. Let's look at the European format (12/8/2009). As you read through it, your brain will learn that it's the 12th day of a certain month in a certain year (not very specific at all); then your brain will figure out it's the 12th day of August in a certain year (a little better but there are at least 2000 possible dyas). Now, let's look at "2009-8-12". As you read through it, your brain will learn that it must be some time in Year 2009 (only 365/366 days to consider), then your brain will find out it's some time in August of 2009 (31 days), and lastly, your brain will identify it as the 12th day of August in 2009. It's very logical and helps your brain narrow down on the specific day much quicker. Anyway, if you are interested, "2009-8-12" is referred to as the ISO 8601 standard. Come to think of it, Chinese actually uses this standard, 2009年8月12日.

You can check out Wikipedia - Calendar date for more information.

Practice made perfect?

While I was walking to work today, I am asking myself if I remember what I read a week ago. How about a month ago? I had a hard time remembering it. I blame it on information overload and there are just so much you can read nowadays. In addition to books & magazine, you have all the blogs (like mine :), you can read and after a while, everything is the same...

How can I make whatever I have read stick in my head? Back in the days when I was still in school, I used to read a text book multiple times (I know it's boring but it's part of study) and that process really made the "stuff" stick in my head. Seriously, up till today, I still remember some content of some books I read back in school. It's strange but it's true (at least for me). However, ever since I graduated from college, I have never read an article, let alone a book, twice. Maybe that's the learning process that I have been missing since after school?

If you think about the homework we did in school, I would argue that it has a similar effect. Homework forced us to repeat applying the same knowledge again and again. Eventually, those knowledge will just get stuck in our head without knowing about it and we just get smarter that way. Now, if you look at your life after school, how many times have you done the same thing more than once? It's a rare event for me. Maybe the phrase, "Practice made perfect" is true. I think the book, Outliers: The Story of Success mentioned one of the reasons someone is an expert is a field is that he just keeps doing the same thing again and again... It's on my to-read list. Will see when I read it...

What are you passionate about?

I just had a dinner with a friend and we discussed a very abstract concept called, passion. I am kind of going through a period of time when I question about my passion for something I do day-to-day so I am particularly interested in this topic.

What is passion? What does it mean when you said someone is passionate about something (let's say an activity for the ease of discussion)? Does it mean that he cares about that activity very much? Does it mean that he thinks about that activity all the time? Does it also mean that he would think about ways to be better at that activity? Does it mean that you can see sparks in his eyes when someone talks about that activity?

Let's say that activity is your job. What behaviors would you see from a person who is very passionate about his job? Would you see him finding his job more important than their family, for example? Would you see him having a grand vision about the product that he is working on and he is ready to execute on it? Would you see his leading his team to the direction he is envisioning?

How's about motivation? Is motivation the same as passion? Could a person who's motivated doing as good of a job as a person who's passionate? Could a passionate person give you more than a motivated person (like more ideas)? Do you need to have passion in order to do a phenomenal job? Does passion get someone a step further than the rest of the crowds? Does passion make someone a superstar?

Finally, is passion just a term to be used as an excuse when you did a poor job? What's your thought?

When did you cry?

I was talking to a friend today and she told me that she recently watched a movie, The Notebook and cried quite a bit but her husband was like, "oh okay. am I supposed to cry?" (I kinda put words in his mouth :) Lol... I just find the conversation funny but anyway, it kind of got me thinking when I cried last and I have no freaking idea when it was.

I have gone through times when I felt down, I have heard some really sad stories, I have also watched some really touching movies but I haven't cried in all those situations. In fact, tear was never in my mind. It's actually kind of strange now that I think about it. I wonder if most guys just unconsciously want to be tough so they don't cry (even if they try)? Or maybe guys just don't have emotions?

Now that questions to all the females, do you like a guy more if he cries? Do you feel like he is more romantic?

Outside Seating

I have been living in my new home for about 7 months now. On my way to work every day, I walk pass many restaurants (about 15 restaurants). I notice one common theme among them - they all have outside seating. These outside seats weren't being used during rainy winter season in Seattle but they are being used extensively during the nice summer season, which is what we have been having in the past few months.

Outside seating is nice but I think it's only nice if you oversee a lake or some nice view. Who would want to sit outside and look at a parking lot, a road with lots of traffic, and a street with lots of bums or drug dealers? Even worst, who would want to eat food that is covered with dust, which I don't think is a good thing? I seriously can't make sense of outside seating in the city. Maybe I just don't know how to enjoy life. Lol...